Cars vs Computers
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light. I love the next one!!!
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
It Could be True Don't you Think?
This is 1st world war. New recruit just got to the front lines in France and checked in with his sargent.
Sargent said: “get up there on the line and engage the enemy”!!
Recruit said: “but I don’t have a gun, I lost it somewhere on the trip over”
Sargent: “oh for crying out loud”—–he then grabbed a broom, broke off the handle and handed it to the recruit–”here take this and just point it at the enemy and yell, bangedy!! bangedy !! bang!!”
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The recruit thought this was pretty odd but being well trained and obedient he took the broom handle and off he went.
Bangedy bangedy bangey bangedy !!!!!!!!!!
Low and behold enemy soldiers were falling all over the place.
Pretty soon though they got very close.
The recruit then started thrusting the broom handle forward and shouted “stabbedy stabbedy stabbedy stab!!!!!!!!!”
In a little while there were no enemy soldiers left standing, except for one guy coming from a ways away.
Bangedy bangedy bangedy bang !!!!! Enemy guy kept coming—–Stabbedy stabbedy stabbedy stab !!!!! still the guy didn’t stop he walked right up and over the recruit and kept going.
The recruit all battered and bruised, pulled himself up from the mud just in time to hear the enemy soldier yelling:——–”tankety tankety tank, tankety tankety tank”
